You Are Not Half

I’d like to discuss a topic that comes up a little too often (to me personally) in the plethora of amputee groups that I am a member of. 

Topics such as:

“Will I ever find love as an amputee?”

“How is your sex life as an amputee and will it ever get any better?”

“Did anyone find love after amputation?” 

“How many of you have had marriages fail after amputation?”

The list could truly go on forever, but it has to end somewhere, right…?

I’d like to first and foremost start by bringing to the surface that yes, as “different” as we are and as many heart breaks we’ve had. Rather that be physically, when losing our limbs or emotionally, with thinking that the people that we love just don’t love us the way that we wanted, needed, or thought. We are still only human – and it is what it is. No matter our sexual orientation, our physical differences, our genders, and/or our ages. 

We are a universe filled with people who share very similar experiences. 

The thing about becoming an amputee and living day-to-day with a physical disability is that we have to relearn how to love ourselves everyday. It’s hard, like most obstacles we face and sometimes it really does get to be too much to handle. 

I feel the most important aspect of all is to remember that not everyone will accept us the way that we are, but that it is essentialthat we accept ourselves the way we are. We have to love ourselves for us. We will only live this one life and even though it doesn’t turn out the way that we thought it would. I would rather spend my days living the life that was graciously given to me than dwelling on what could have been. 

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I had decided that I would love my life even during the trials I face. I am twenty-something year old woman today, but one day I will be a frail and probably cranky old woman and I want to be able to look back at my life as a glorious one. I want to remember all the good things that I had and remember all the experiences with pride in my heart. 

I don’t want to be a frail, cranky old woman looking back at my life and wishing that I had loved myself more. 

You are NOT a half. People may come and go, but you will always be there, to hold yourself late at night and laugh to your favorite show. It’s okay if you haven’t found “the one” yet. The thing to remember is that you’ll always be the one. The person that will love you just the way you are is right around the corner. 

In the meantime, enjoy your life. Enjoy your freedom. Fill your days with things that YOU love.