- GCP Blog
- Oct .09 . 2018
I’m sure all of you who also have a disability can relate to me when I say, help gets kind of annoying sometimes… I know, I know – some of you might be thinking about how ungrateful I am in saying that, but bear with me.
I’d like to think of myself as a pretty doing-alright-for-herself kinda gal. I mean, I can do all sorts of things that I’ve learned over the years. I live on my own (with the exception of one crazy-daisy toddler), I get from point A to B, it might just take me a little longer.
The thing about disability is that people want to be able to do things for themselves. I think that might also have a correlation with every individual, disabled or not. Independence can be the very thing that separates one from suffering from depression, anxiety, hope, etc.
Speaking from experience, when I am unable to do something it really gets to me. I start having anxiety about what others are thinking about me and in reality, it’s just my crazy mind playing tricks on me and it’s myself thinking those things about me. So, in turn, I take steps to learn how to do things that I once didn’t understand how to do. Albeit, it might be some super weird way that takes a billion tries before getting the hang of, but as of yet, nothing has been impossible.
So, as a woman and Mom, I tend to take up quite a lot of time in the grocery store, or in any store really (it’s a bad habit, especially thrift shops ugh my kryptonite). With that being said, I get asked on a near-daily basis if I need help. It could be when I am singing to my daughter while she’s in the buggy, to be reaching DOWN to get something from a lower shelf, to me literally already having grabbed the item that I was going for and with it in hand I am forced to put on that friendly smile and say, “No, thank you.”
It’s honestly exhausting.
I did a little social experiment and I counted 72 people that asked me if I needed help in some shape or form to which I replied with my usual, “I got this, but thank you.” I do NOT want to come across as not needing help and I certainly don’t want the kindness people show towards others to stop. BUT, I will say that it would make my shopping trips more smoothly if I hadn’t had to stop on every aisle to say “No, thank you,” to each passing individual. If you see me struggling, sure I mean whatever, ask away. Or if I approach you and ask, would you mind handing me one of those veggie chips off the top shelf that your standing in front of, trust me, I will be forever grateful for your kindness. But I feel as if I am seen as an incapable person, just because I’m an amputee. Yes, I do have a disability and yes, sometimes it is difficult for me to do things like pushing a buggy and roll myself around in a wheelchair, but, I’ve got this. I have to learn somehow, so thank you, but no thank you.