Being a single parent is hard. I knew this before I became one as I watched my beautiful, incredible, and strong mother raise three children on her own. I will always admire how impenetrable she was and how well she hid the tears that came along every so often when things got really difficult. My Mom took single parenting head-on without missing a beat. She always carried and still does carry herself with never-ending strength. (I appreciate and love you so much, Mama).
I’ve become aware of many things that I had never caught on to before with looking at my mother. She would never let it be known how rough things actually got. Sometimes it was just little things like me breaking a glass, and then another until the glasses in our cupboard were dissipated and all that remained were plastic cups.
One thing that I can say about my Mom, is that she, without a doubt, always showered us with love and never held anything against us. She gifted us with her entire heart and soul, always made sure that we were well taken care of and given what we needed.
A part of me always felt like she threw her dreams away when she stepped up in raising us alone, especially once I came along unexpectedly. Little did I know that we are my Mama’s dream; just as my daughter is mine.
There is a scale when it comes to parenting; it will weigh more heavily in one direction rather than the other in the decision-making process. The scale that comes with single parenting is more callous than if there were two parents taking a swing at the whole raising a child thing. Hah.
As a single parent, you are faced with a constant battle of trying to prove to the world and to yourself that you are more than what people make you out to be and that you are capable of providing and taking care of your child/children all on your own. You also get to give your child all of your knowledge. Spreading love and kindness in their minds in hopes that they will (and they will) grow up to be good and loving people.
Never feel ashamed for being a single parent.
Being a single parent is hard. You find ways to adapt to having no one help you or support you and your child. You start to cope with the lack of sleep because there is no turn-taking with helping the baby back to sleep when she wakes up at night, over and over and over… The tears of frustration when you don’t know how to calm your screaming baby and there is no one there to reassure you that you’re doing a fantastic job, someone that offers to take over so that you can do a little breathing. You learn to endure having no one around to celebrate and appreciate the milestones that your baby conquers. Instead, you celebrate them just you and them – which is an amazing and wonderful thing just as is.
Being a single parent is also amazing and astonishing. I still surprise myself from time to time, I mean WOW this little angel is my creation, I made and cooked this golden child – bravo to me!
People don’t realize that not everyone wants to be a single parent, but if being a single parent is what I have to be to ensure that my child has the best possible chance at having an incredible life then by God I’ll be a single parent. I will relish in double the number of dirty diapers, seemingly endless sleepless nights, moments of consoling, baths, hugs, kisses, and so on.
Raising a child alone is one of the most challenging ways of life that I can think of, other than the obvious (being “disabled” and raising a child) but it is also one that is most rewarding and comes with a profound sense of purpose and fills your soul and entire being with pride.
I mean, look at you, you have created and brought up this insanely beautiful human being all on your own. You are outstanding, a top-notch, amazing, and compassionate person. You are a hero, you are MY hero, and you are doing a phenomenal job. Your weak moments will pass with every smile, kiss, and hug that your baby gives you.
The light that love brings will wash away the darkness and you will be whole again. All of the judgment from others will be blurred into white noise by the joy and the pride that you have for being such an amazing parent and person.