Intimacy and Limb Loss

Losing a limb is an outrageously hard thing to go through, as most, if not all of us know. With having a limb amputated there comes a lot of emotions all bundled up and piled onto one beating heart. If you’re anything like me, you might look away from mirrors or your shadow on the ground. It’s taken a long time to get to where I am, and to be honest, I still have a long way to go. With every outing, I’d see a cute girl and think of how I used to be, how much I wanted to wear those shoes, that dress, or the cute mini skirt displayed in the window of my old favorite shop. Oh, and the perfect calves that were smooth and free of hair, tanned. Ugh. A sight for sore eyes and a beautiful specimen, to say the least, are the women living life as happy as can be – prancing about town. My mind was overrun by a negative frenzy and I felt like I couldn’t stop. It was like I was a teenage girl again, wanting to be like the women in the magazines.

When someone has a limb amputated it is sometimes self-perceived as a visual deformity and can be construed as the loss of oneself as well. There is this stigma in the world that physically challenged individuals aren’t really capable of having intimacy with others in one way or the other – if you catch my drift. This could not be further from the truth. While it does take some adjusting and we all have to go through the same process first, finding love for ourselves, it is absolutely possible to find love after limb loss.

Adaptation, patience, and understanding are key. We adapt to so many things after amputation, intimacy just so happens to be one of them. It took some time for me to realize that I was beautiful with or without legs. The thing to remember is that this life as an amputee can be just like the life of a person that has all of their limbs. There are people out there that will love you in every way possible, who will lift you up when you are down, and cheer you on while you learn new things and overcome obstacles. 

The truth is that there are no real answers to the mystery of intimacy, only you can answer them yourself with a little trial and error. Go out there, present yourself to the world. Don’t get down and out about your preference of person not liking you, vanity is a thing. People like what they like and some are vainer than others. And that’s okay. Put trust in yourself. You’ll find that special someone.