I’m not sure if any of you know the song “Ironic,” by Alanis Morissette – but that’s sort of how my life has been going for the last, hmm, week or so I suppose. It’s like all I really need is a dang knife and all I have are spoons. Let’s just say, this gal’s stress levels have been maxed out. Where is the ice cream when you need it, amiright? With all of the hubbub it’s really hard to stay on course, to keep a clear and sane mind. I’m sure, at least a few of you know exactly what I am talking about. There are a lot of dark places that whisper in my ear constantly making me second guess if what I am doing with my life is enough. If I am fulfilling my purpose as I should be. It’s always the little things that bring me out of the funk. The little things that you don’t even realize are happening until you notice that your smile is genuine and the sun a little warmer rather than annoying.
With the help of my sweet little girl, with her cute smile and sweet kisses, all the other nonsense goes away. I’ve also had another helping hand. Someone who reassures me that I am doing a great job at being a Mom, a woman, a good person. It’s almost impossible to believe that six months have already passed. The days go by and with each one I am left feeling even more alive than I was the day before. When you really stop and think about it, six months is kind of a long time. Six months is around 180 days and 4,320 hours.
4,320 hours that I have spent feeling immense love, kindness, patience, acceptance, and all things good.
You see, I never really thought that I deserved anything this good. I was never “the best” kind of person and I never really liked myself, to be honest. It wasn’t until I became an amputee that I started to really grow as a person, as a better person. Continuously working towards loving myself and being a happier person. I do that for myself. For my daughter, for my family, for other people like me, other people with a disability. I make the strides to continuously better myself. Then, like a rising sun beckoning the horizon, there is that one person that catapults the entire perspective you have about yourself and your life into a kind of milk and honey land. That one person who makes working towards being happy and loving yourself, so much easier. Each day I wake up happy, and each night I go to sleep knowing that I am loved for exactly who I am.
Here’s to 6 months and many, many more.